Today's Epiphany

One week to go.

One week until I put my skinnier self on a plane and head to Florida for the trip I've been looking forward to and working towards for months.

And as I've mentioned before, I've been struggling with these last few pounds and I've come to accept that I may not get to that goal weight by next Thursday. I'm 2.5 pounds from it as of this morning. I'm watching what I eat and drink. I'm mixing things up so as to not fall into a rut and I've actually been (GASP) exercising. Last week was my first week using my inherited Fitness Flyer. I started out with 10 minutes a day...every day. I missed one day when I went to Boston but got right back on the next morning. This morning, as I close out the second week on the Flyer, I'm now up to 20 minutes. A true accomplishment from this self proclaimed couch potato.

But whether I hit that magic number by the time I step on a plane isn't the issue... because what is different THIS TIME as opposed to any other time, is that it is NOT just about losing the weight for this trip. It must be about losing the weight and keeping it off forever.

So what has changed?

Aside from making real life altering changes in the way that I eat and life altering changes in the way that I approach food in general. I've come to recognize that it is my responsibility as a wife, mother, daughter and friend to take care of myself. And that isn't easy. It's EASY to go to the fridge and put the first thing your hand touches in your mouth. And it's EASY to order dessert when you go out to dinner. But it's HARD to accept the responsibility for my actions if I take the easy way out.

And how can I expect to be an example to my daughters if I take a "do as I say not as I do." attitude?

I set out on this journey (this time) with that quest for the single digit size...but to be honest, I don't know that I 100% believed that I would get there. I had tried so many times before and fallen short. But I kept plugging along....and will continue to do so (beyond this glorious vacation). No one... and I mean NO ONE is more surprised than me at my success to date. At the ripe age of 42, am I finally showing some maturity and some responsibility for my actions?

I mean really? Whose fault is it that I was 177 pounds? Nabisco's? Breyers? Oh, I know, McDonald's!? Of course not. The fault was mine because I took no responsibility for what I put in my mouth. I blamed the food I ate for what it did to my body. I blamed the clothes in my closet for not fitting right. I blamed the fashion industry for not making clothes I liked in my size.

But in the end, it was no one's fault but my own. And I am certainly not saying it is easy. Everyone one of us who struggles with their weight...truly STRUGGLES with their weight and knows that it is HARD.

But keep going.

If you are struggling, keep going! The end result is SO worth it.

Stay tuned for less of me.