Angry Fat Girl

Yo. Yo. Yo.

No, I'm not trying to be hip. This is the sound of my dieting life.

I've been up and down so many times, I feel like one of those blow up punching things we had as kids that you could punch and would come right back up again. They usually had Bozo's face on them...which is also apropos.

Long story short...if you haven't been here before... I, like a million others, struggle with my weight. (I know you are SHOCKED). Last year, I went on a very drastic low fat/low cal/low carb diet and dropped 40 lbs in 4 months. It was a beautiful, albeit, somewhat stupid thing. I went from a 12 to a 6 in the blink of an eye.

But realistic it was not because the bad habits crept back and now...a year later, I'm back in that size 12.

And I am pissed!

I hate how I look in my clothes...God forbid out of them.

I'm angry that I let it get to this point. But I suppose that getting here is the thing that will get me to jump or limp into action.

Just exactly what that action is...is indeed the question.

Low carb has worked in the past (but is often inconvenient).
WW has worked in the past (but I just cannot to the points thing again).

So, as I set out on the next leg of this journey...AGAIN, I'm setting smaller goals.

This week, I'm giving up sugar, white flour, and the worst high carb culprits. No pasta, no white bread, no potatoes.

Beyond that...I'm just going to try and eat healthy and see how it goes.

I have some new favorite blogs that I'm reading. Check them out on the right. I'm feeling especially inspired by Pasta Queen and love the Habit-a-Week Challenge over at Escape from Obesity.

Join me on the journey. And stay tuned for less of me.

A New Dieting Path

Yes, it's been a while.

Have you wondered where I've been?

Standing in front of the fridge stuffing my face is the obvious answer. But wait...I'm jumping ahead. Let me back up and get the new folks up to speed.

Once upon a time, a beautiful but plump girl went on a diet. OK, she went on a lot of diets and had a fair amount of success on each and every one. Until she grew bored and slipped back into old habits. And before long she was slipping back into the larger sizes in her closet.

Then one day, she went on a low carb/ low fat diet (yes, it is a contradiction for those doing the math). The diet (which shall not be named) was somewhat controversial but Scalemistress lost nearly 40 pounds in 4 months. Which all the experts will tell you is too much too soon. But she didn't care because she went from a size 12 to a size 6 in time for a big family vacation.

That was 10 months ago. And in these past 10 months I have struggled to regain (pardon the pun) the glory of being that single digit size that I was so happy to obtain last summer. And also in these 10 months, I have tried to resume some healthier eating habits and exercise more. But ultimately, all I've achieved is gaining back nearly 30 of the original 40 pound loss.

It's horribly depressing.

What to do. What to do.

Well I tried a few things on my own. but if there's anything I know for sure about all of the diets out there, it's that they all work...if you work them.

Some universal truths to dieting are:
Write it all down
Drink a lot of water
Move more

What you put in your mouth may vary but those things are always true. And one more truth for me is I work them best when I don't do it alone.

So when a few of my co-workers decided to do Weight Watchers, I battled the inner demons. You know the ones. The voices in my head that said "But Scalemistress, you've been swearing by the low carb life for so long. Are you switching teams? Are you going over the dark side?"

But I know that Weight Watchers works. It's worked for me before. Just like low carb worked for me before. The bigger question is...what will work for me now?

So yea.... I took the plunge. I joined Weight Watchers....again. Went to a meeting. Stepped on the scale. And now I'm two days into counting points...again. So far so good. I'll step back on that scale each Wednesday....in between stepping on the one at home more than a dozen times before then.

So join me in this next chapter on my weight loss journey.

And stay tuned for less of me.

When Dieting Boredom Sets In

What do you do when boredom sets in? And I don't mean just plain old "I'm tired of eating salads" boredom...I mean sheer unadulterated "why the hell should I bother" boredom.

I've been following a controlled carb diet for nearly a year and admittedly, I weigh 10% less right now than I did at this same time last year. So despite the fact that I have gained back some of the weight I initially lost last summer, I think I can safely say that this way of eating really does work for me.

But I'm so darn tired of thinking about it all the time.

Why wasn't I born with that ability to just eat whatever my heart's desire was instead of having to plan and think and all that other nonsense that goes along with dieting?

ah..."to sleep, perchance to dream."

or more accurately... "SNAP OUT OF IT."

OK, I'm back now.

Perhaps it is that I've been playing around with the same 6 pounds for about 2 months now. It would be SO easy just to say "screw it" and go back to eating a big bowl of ice cream every night but then I'd have to face those size 8 pants in my closet just mocking me.

Rationally, of course I know that stalls are temporary and that I just have to stick with it...not cheat and this too shall pass. The goal of the moment is to drop these stinkin' 10 pounds by April 4th. That will be the one year mark of starting on this low carb journey. If I can lose those 10 pounds (or more) by then...then I can mark the anniversary 30 pounds lighter. That's only 2 months away... 10 pounds in 2 months. I can do that

If I can just get past the boredom.

Addictive Eating

I used to be a smoker. I was never a heavy smoker...just slightly more than a social smoker. About 10 years ago I quit…cold turkey. A fact which annoys my husband who still smokes. It’s not that he is upset that I quit but more that he doesn’t understand how I can just up and stop…just like…THAT.

And as I think back on it, it really was easier for me than most. I came down with a horrible case of bronchitis and just couldn’t bring myself to smoke while breathing was such a painful experience. Then, once I was feeling better…well, it just seemed silly to go back. But every trigger was a difficult one in the beginning. So it went like this…

Today I’m not going to smoke on the walk from my apartment to the subway. (OK, I can do that)

Next, I’m not going to smoke on the walk from the subway to my office. DONE.

Throughout the day it was more of the same until several days had gone by and I hadn’t smoked at all. So when these urges passed, I started to truly consider myself a “non-smoker” But it was a daily process…and it wasn’t as easy as I’m now making it sound.

OK, so why am I bringing this up?

It occurred to me yesterday in a moment of quiet contemplation (and kicking myself for whatever I ate that I shouldn’t have) that eating…while necessary to sustain life, is also an addictive behavior.

I need food to live…but do I need cookies? Not really.

What about the peanuts? Hmmm…no.

So why is it that some people are able to eat just what they need and the rest of us eat what we need plus what a small third world nation needs too?

How do I take that “one addictive habit at a time” mentality that I used to quit smoking and apply it to not eating except that which I need to sustain a healthy life?

And why was it so much easier to take weight off in the time leading up to last summer’s cruise than it is now? I obviously know HOW to eat the right things. Yet, somehow, without realizing it...I somehow find myself eating things I shouldn't more often than I'd like to admit.

Perhaps instead of one day at a time, I should apply the one bite at a time theory.

:SIGH:

I’m looking for answers so chime in if you’ve got some and… stay tuned for less of me.

Back from the Cruise

I'm back!

First, let me just say that we had a truly great time on the cruise. We had great weather and calm seas the whole trip as Hurricane Dean headed West. There's so much to tell you, I don't know where to start...

I got exactly the reaction I was hoping for from each of my family members. First from my Dad and then from the rest of the family as each one arrived in town. The most commonly used phrase was "What happened to the rest of you?"

What a great feeling!

Once we got on the ship, the challenges were obvious. It's no secret that you are simply surrounded by food on a cruise. But what is important to remember is that the more food there is, the more choices there are. So it wasn't as hard as I anticipated.

Breakfast in either the dining room or the buffet offered omlettes so that was obviously fine. In fact in the dining room I was surprised to find turkey bacon the menu. I tried it once, and it was awful so I switched to regular bacon after that.

Lunch on the buffet seemed the best option for me. There was always a carving station or an easily identifyable chicken or fish that could be had with a salad.

The biggest issue with dinner was the amount of food, not necessarily WHAT was on the menu. I could always get a piece of grilled salmon or grilled chicken with veggies if nothing else on the menu tickled me.

I skipped the bread (obviously) and the pasta, rice and potatoes.

So where was the problem?

Dessert and alcohol.

I didn't order desert every night. But as I said before I left, I decided that I wasn't going to deny myself something that I knew was a unique experience that I couldn't get at home. So "hello, chocolate melting cake!" A truly yummy experience.

Add to that a few glasses of wine and "vodka and something" ... and well, you can guess how that adds up.

The good news is that I actually did go to the gym THREE times while on board. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill at a pretty brisk pace (3.8mph) interspersed with short spurts of jogging at 4.5

Aren't you impressed? I certainly am.

With all that said, I also KNEW that by the end of the cruise, I had definitely gained some. I was afraid to see how much.

According to my own scale this morning, I am up 8 pounds. But I am not discouraged.

Today I got right back to strict low carb eating and back on my Fitness Flyer for 25 minutes and fully expect to get rid of that cruise weight pretty quickly.

I'll get some pictures up as soon as I sort through all of them. In the meantime...

Stay tuned for less of me.

What's Your Story, Scale Mistress?

Hey there.

If you've followed me over from my other blog... welcome. And if you are new to my musings... well, hugs to you as well.

Here's the scoop. Back in April of this year, I started on this quest to once again, shed myself of some unwanted pounds...well, ok... 40 unwanted pounds. Having had some success in the past with low carb programs, I decided to try Kimkins which is a low carb/low fat program. I was more than a little skeptical but I've had great success and to date, I've lost 32 pounds. I'm in the home stretch now with only about 10 more to lose. This has always been my quest for the single digit size. I'm one size away.

The other blog was about the journey on Kimkins. But now I am so close to goal and I'm starting to actually think of myself as a thin person (and one who doesn't cry getting dressed in the morning) that I decided to embark on this new blog and share just how I'm going to keep my girlish figure AND the single digit size.

A little background. I'm 42, married 12 years, mother of twin 6 year olds, a bit of a computer geek and opinionated as hell. Oh, and I have a weakness for chocolate ice cream and oreo cookies. The last two items are obviously what got me into trouble but the opinionated part does that sometimes too.

Next month, I'm headed off on an 8 day cruise with my extended family. This really was the kick in the pants that got me started dieting. Knowing that I would have to put on a bathing suit AND face my family was enough to keep me off of chocolate ice cream and oreos for a while.

I've come to realize that low carb living is the answer for me. There is a wealth of information out there and I will do my best to share what I pick up along the way. I don't profess to be an expert but I know that I'm not alone and with information comes power.

I promise to poke fun at myself often. Feel free to do the same. I will post links to other blogs and links to products I believe in. If you have something to add... please share.